I want to be a winner

I’m in a new phase, I'm a clueless beginner
Fate made a clean slice, made me a breadwinner
I'll do any kind of job, even as a gleaner
"Things won't be the same", a voice echoed from the inner

I'm wearing donated clothes, but I'm proud like a preener
It's a humbling chapter for me, I used to be meaner
I'm trying my best to be a saint, I used to be a sinner
But the voice in my head, no longer an angelic singer

If I continue crawling, will they judge my demeanour?
If I keep my hands dirty, will my water be cleaner?
If I keep living, will the grass turn greener?
If my fate is sealed, what's the purpose of the fortune spinner?

Pushing to my limits, body is getting thinner
Looking at my bank, guess I’ll be skipping dinner
Looking at others, wonder what it’s like to be a winner
I’m holding on to something, holding on to my last carabiner