Forever will be

Have I ever told the world
About someone so special
Pair of eyes as pretty as an apple
Pair us up so we could be a couple

Younger than me, but more mature
Bless her, that smile is a cure
Dangerous but intelligent, most men fear
A bliss it is when she calls you dear

Yes, it was neither the right place
Nor the right time to be her ace
At least, she was the right person in my case
May she be happy with someone that matches her pace

In my heart, a place for her to be
Really love her, from far it shall be
All these years, she's still a princess to me
Hand this letter to the other half of me

A lady peach

To the lady with the soft touch
I honestly thought we could be in a romance
To the lady that didn't reply to me much
Why did you give me the sign for me to advance

To the lady that untangled the strings in my heart
You tuned them well into a symphony
To the lady that looks like a piece of art
Why did you give me a canvas that is empty

To the lady that gave me butterflies
I didn't believe in them until I played your game
To the lady that wore a disguise
Why did you tame me and bring shame to my name

To the lady that signaled with many signs
I really had a hard time decoding each
To the lady that I replied with many lines
Why did you give me a lesson that none could teach

Ready to fade

Every day I wake up wishing I were dead
I barely have the energy left to get out of bed
The next hardest task is to exit the gate
Every day I'm in a rush, every day I'm gonna be late

Every step I take reminds me about my fate
Majority of the people I met were full of hate
They gave me a hand to help while holding a blade
Every step means nothing, like the promises they made

Every time I see a happy family, I wish I could relate
I have no food for tonight, I'm still not getting paid
Been days with no money, all I could do is wait
Every time life gives me lemon but I'm tired of lemonade

Every effort turns into a failure. Not a very good trade
Grass is greener on the other side, another masquerade
If someone can hear me screaming, it's too late I'm afraid
Every effort I wish it would be my last. I'm ready to fade

A test of mine

“At this age, a partner you have to find”
By someone's word
By the looks of it
The right one may come when the stars align

“You’re old, you're running out of time”
“Try to lose weight”
“Try to look nice”
But I’m in a dark place where no light can shine

Broken trusts, thousand pieces shattered so fine
My fragile heart
My gullible self
Keeps falling for the littlest sign

Will love ever reach me at the end of the line
My average looks
My quirky traits
Maybe I need an intervention from the divine

It's all in the media, it's a social paradigm
By everyone's word
By the looks of it
A struggle I'm facing, a test of mine

Life's Exhibition

I've been walking this road alone. Out of breath, out of motivation 
Another day of self-harming, slowly becoming an addiction
I no longer feel the pain. I no longer have any reaction
And I no longer feel the need to find the right direction

Been looking for a safe space but I keep getting the wrong attention
Fake people around me trying to be part of my life's exhibition
Acted like they care with intentions that are textbook fiction
Affecting my mental state severely with all the unneeded tension

No one can handle the mess in my head, so much complication
No one seems to understand me and I know I'm bad at communication
Only a few that genuinely helped me in every difficult situation
Yet life still decided to add more lemons and a zest of explosion

More addition of the subtraction, zero multiplication for every conclusion
27 years of living hell, nothing makes sense in this equation
I tried dividing my steps and finally found the simplest solution
Someone help pull the plug for me and end this simulation

It's tonight

It's tonight
I'm moving out tonight
To a new place with a bed
A normal life they said

I looked around me and I cried
I will surely miss this sight
My home and all things DIY
I'm happy here why would I lie?

So close to you
I enjoy my morning with just us two
I won't get that anymore
My morning sight will just be a sore

I will no longer look forward to waking up in the morning
Or find beauty in each morning
But if it brings me closer to being a part of your life
Then I just have to hold my head up high

For all I know is I have been blessed to have you
And all that you do is for my own good, it's true

Tonight I will no longer sleep in this place I called home
Tonight I will no longer live alone

Remember?

Back then you convinced me that you're gonna start anew
Back then when you're still searching for the truth within you
You found me right by your side and the love slowly grew
It felt so right when it should have not, where's the guilt that I threw?

Every words, every pictures and every gifts
Every moment for some reason they seemed so real
I knew it's not gonna last but I took it as a myth
Sweet lies everywhere, my hope you surely steal

Back then you're secretly with another man. I'm so confuse
And you keep mentioning the first man that was once been seduced
You'd sprinkle me with your sweet words which I can't refuse
You've leashed me by the neck, I begged you to cut me loose

But the night won't last for the stars to shine
You came back crying and said some part of you were mine
Made me promise not to leave you again. Everything's gonna be fine
You broke up with him and set a vision of us. But you still crossed the line

Remember the day you said you will not lick back what you have spit
Remember all the names that you've made up for our future kids
Remember my first warning to you when we first meet
You will not like the way I do things but it's the best for your own need

It's not what I didn't feel, it's what I didn't show
It's not what you didn't see, it's what you didn't know
Four nights I left the country, that's when the whistles blow
You're no more the person I knew, so I let you go